LOVING CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Girls Staring each other down - Stuart Miles

In a previous post, I had discussed why God’s perfect love is important in helping us to overcome any reservations about confrontation when it comes to resolving conflict. Today I want to discuss how love can help us to actually become better at resolving conflict. You probably know these things, but we all need a reminder about what we should be doing from time to time.

The goal of conflict resolution is not to win an argument. It should be to improve the relationship and promote unity. Therefore, let’s look at I Corinthians 13:4-5 to make sure we are walking in love as we engage in conflict resolution. If we apply the tenets of love during the conflict, we have a better chance of having a positive outcome which leads to a better relationship. Loving conflict resolution has the following characteristics:

Patience – Sometimes we will confront a person with the truth, and they don’t seem to be getting it. When you confront and it seems the person is not receiving or understanding what you are saying, be patient and allow the Holy Spirit to minister and help them to get it in God’s timing.

Kindness – When in the heat of the battle, we need to remember to be kind because the other person has feelings. Kindness will go a long way when it comes to getting people to hear what you have to say. The delivery is everything.

Free of Envy – Envy often rears its ugly head when two people who are supposed to be on the same team compare their accomplishments and one of them feels like they are less than the other. Remember you are on the same team and refuse to compare yourselves to one another. You are not to compete with one another but complement one another.

Free of Rudeness – Many times when a person brings an issue to the table, the other person will attack them and talk about their faults. This is an effort to throw light off of their shortcomings and onto the person who is doing the confronting. They may resort to putdowns. There is no place for rudeness in conflict resolution. Once you say words that hurt, you can’t take them back. Therefore, be courteous as you conduct your discussion.

Not Self-seeking – We should not seek to boost our self-esteem or win in a conflict. We should seek to build the other person’s self-esteem and promote a deeper connection and understanding that will lead to a better relationship. The ultimate goal of conflict resolution is for each person to win in the form of a better, more fruitful relationship, not to get what you want.

Not easily angered – In the heat of the battle we can get angry, but we need to make sure that we don’t let anger get the best of us. Remember the enemy will try to get you to say hurtful things in anger that you will certainly regret later. Therefore, keep a tight reign on your tongue in the middle of “intense fellowship.”

Conflict is inevitable, but we don’t have to let it tear us apart. Effective conflict resolution can be the glue that holds us together. But it does require that each party be willing to walk in love for it to work. Therefore, let’s seek to have discussions laced with love so that we can have better relationships and keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

How has God’s love helped you to resolve conflict lately? Please leave a comment below.

I’d love your help in spreading the word about my books, Oasis for My Soul: Poems and Inspirational Writings for Spiritual and Personal Growth. Click here to find out ways you can help.

 

 

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Sometimes it’s tough to get going on Monday mornings, isn’t it? If you want to be more motivated on Mondays, subscribe to my YouTube channel and wake up to “Moore Motivation on Mondays!” I, Tracey L. Moore (AKA the Purposeful Poet), will greet you each Monday morning with an encouraging poem based on God’s Word that will motivate you, spur you on to greatness, and help you to start your week with your mind on your Creator. I’m so looking forward to having you tune in each week. You can find me on YouTube.com. Click here to view my latest Moore Motivation on Monday video!

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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles, freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

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YOU CAN LIVE THE GOOD LIFE

Have a nice day sign

I pray that life is going well for you and that you are prospering and in good health. Lately, I have been concentrating on making sure that I maintain an attitude of gratitude.  No matter what is happening right now, things could always be worse, right?

As a matter of fact, the other day, I ran into an individual who was under spiritual attack and had numerous problems in his life. He felt he had done everything right and wondered why his life was a mess. Although I am sorry he is suffering, that made me thankful for my own life.

Unfortunately, the individual began to indict God’s character because of his dire situation. He was thoroughly disconnected from God, the Power Source, at this point. This saddened me greatly because he needed to know that when things don’t go as we plan, God is never the problem, He is the solution. Therefore, during those chaotic episodes, we must refrain from rejecting God and seek revelation.

Maybe you are going through a similar situation, and you feel like Job.  You feel you’ve done everything right, but all Hell is still breaking loose. However, if you want to live “the good life,” you’ve got to make sure you’re applying certain biblical principles consistently. Therefore, My Friend, living well  requires that you do the following:

  1. Tend to your soul. 3 John 1:2 (NASB) says, “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.” If you want to live the good life, you must tend to your soul. Voraciously read the Word. Read good spiritual books. Pray. Fast. Go to counseling. Do whatever you need to do because if you want a prosperous life, your soul must prosper.
  2. Guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” What you do flows out of what is going on in your heart. Therefore, you must be the gatekeeper of your heart. Only allow the good stuff to come in and keep the junk out.
  3. Think good thoughts. Proverbs 23:7 (NASB) says, “As [a man] thinks in his heart, so is he.”  In other words, what you think about, you become.  Furthermore, what you think about most will be drawn to you. Job 3:25 (NIV) says, “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.” We need to think thoughts internally that line up with the Word of God if we’re going live well externally.
  4. Control your tongue. Jesus said in Mark 11:24 that you will have what you say. Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Sometimes what we are experiencing is a direct result of what we have prophesied out of our own mouth.  Joel Osteen said, “We are to call those things that be not as though they are, not call those things that are as if they always will be.” Therefore, the word to the wise is this: please, watch your mouth.

Living the good life that God has preordained for you is an obtainable goal. However, you must make sure you control the things that you can control and cooperate with the Holy Spirit. If you will practice the four principles cited above, you’ll spend your days in prosperity, and your years in pleasures (Job 36:11).

What additional principles have you found that are necessary for living “the good life?” Please leave a comment below. 

I’d love your help in spreading the word about my books, Oasis for My Soul: Poems and Inspirational Writings for Spiritual and Personal Growth. Click here to find out ways you can help.

 

 

Would you like to receive your FREE e-chapbook entitled, Your Faith Has Made You Whole: Poems and Inspirational Writings for Spiritual Transformation, by Tracey L. Moore? Go to www.traceylmoore.com and subscribe to the email list.

Find me on Facebook:  www.facebook.com/TraceyLMoore2012

Follow me on Twitter:  @TraceyLMoore1